he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
