I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
