But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
love makes seman taste better
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
