I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
