The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
