If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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