using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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