Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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