Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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