sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
