broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize