Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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