i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he was CRYING into my vagina
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize