He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize