So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
