Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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