Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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