ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
