i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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