I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
These tits shall not be calmed
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
