Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.