I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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