do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
