I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
