Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
