her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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