Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
