She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
