I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
too bad you live with your parents still
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
