I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I want you more than these girls want KFC
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
