haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
