Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
