i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I touched a dick in church today
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
