nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
