she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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