When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
