btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Randomize
