the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
