did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
