Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
