Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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