Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
