oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Pooping to opera.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
