I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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