For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
