You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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