Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
it's like iHOP with fire
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
where are my eyebrows?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
