Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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