1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
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and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
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and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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