I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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