I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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