but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
