to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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