You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
