Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
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There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
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I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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