I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
